I've been struggling for some time with the reason that I love food so much. I don't like that I do, and I'm getting back to my heaviest point again. I could simply blame it on the fact that I have not been able to run in a year, but don't think that I'd be much different if I was able to run.
Am I filling a void? Am I finding my identity in the food? Should I be giving more of me to the Lord (pun intended)? Am I addicted to food?
It frustrates me that as I've really been leaning into and praying about the issue, I'm simply getting fatter. I find myself tempted by the commercials for this program and that program. I've lost weight before (40 pounds a few years back) and they are almost all back with me now.
Lord, search my heart. Find the root and pull the bugger out. I'm ready for a change, I need to know what it is.
1 comment:
You know, I came to the realization about 3 years ago that I was an "emotional eater". I think took me a long time to realize that because we generally only view women in that regard. It hit me so hard I gave the guys in my accountability group permission to search my car whenever they wanted for Reese wrappers, Mountain Dew bottles, etc...seriously.
So I know what you're talking about - I still don't know the complete answer as to why I respond that way, but I've gotten bits and pieces over the past few years. Some days/weeks I'm really good about it - other times I'm inhaling calories like they're going out of style. I'll be glad to walk with you on this journey, maybe we can help each other see the root that God needs to pull up completely.
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